Elevated visitors always travel at the speed of light.

From their perspective, there is no such thing called time. The visitors traveled billions of years to reach the earth but for them, zero time has elapsed during their journey.

The cash-strapped visitors ditch luxuries.

A recent trading update by the Betelgeuse Elevation Group has indicated that elevation candidates are tightening their belts and looking for value for money. The group’s portfolio experienced overall flat revenue growth, due to increased elevation prices being passed through to the candidates.

However, the group said that revenue from fairly cheap shape-shifting recorded incremental growth as constrained candidates sought value for their money.

“Their wallets are under tremendous pressure and this is clearly visible in their spending patterns.”